Over the years Gwyneth [Paltrow] has consistently access me out to London and I accept consistently procrastinated. I was like, "What if I appear out to adhere out with her and Chris Martin, who is a genius, and me accepting such the adverse of who they are?" My "What if?" worries started to bang in.

So fuck it! I adjudge to go to GP and face my fears, I cull up to a neighbourhood abreast Chelsea. My all-overs is blame in and I am abashed I am not acceptable abundant for GP, for their admirable admirable home, and admirable affairs and admirable family! What if my hair is messy? What if my extensions abatement out? What if I accept lipstick and appearance ashore amid my teeth? What if they don't get my jokes? What if they abhorrence to gossip? What if I accidentally fabricated a stain on Gwyneth's coffee table?

I access two account early, and afore I can even ablaze my assumption smoke, Chris greets me at that aboideau with a attractive smile and a big hug. As I access the kitchen there's an ashtray, two lighters and two packs of Silk Cuts. Did I just fucking die and go to heaven? Next affair I apperceive I am accepting kissed by a admirable woman (GP), cutting an apron! She is all alert and rubs my arch and pinches my cheeks! I am so afflicted by the atmosphere and the actuality I can fucking accept a smoke afterwards accepting arrested or kicked out.

I accord GP a big buck hug and just aerial her up off the attic and assumption what? She is a blooper of a babe and ablaze as a calamus and far added admirable than should be acknowledged with an IQ that I accept apparent and cannot reveal, although it is out of this apple and abundant college than one ability think.

This confirms what I've consistently doubtable - all fucked-up "bad girls" secretly wish to be prim, prissy, uptight, complacent little twats like Paltrow. And yes, I'm abiding Paltrow's IQ is abundant college than one would think. It would accept to be, wouldn't it? She is, afterwards all, perfect.